my fourth speech

How to connect with people in 90 seconds?

Good evening Mdm President, District Officers, fellow Toastmasters and friends.

According to statistics, first impression is formed within the first 7 seconds you meet a stranger. An opinion will be formed in the next 83 seconds. If you fail to establish a connection within this time, you will find it difficult to re-establish your credibility after that golden 90 seconds has passed.

Let’s just face it. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Before I share with you on the tips on how to do it, why do you think it is important to connect with people? Well, we all want people to like us, whether it's a job interviewer, a potential customer, or just a new acquaintance. Not only does their approval make us feel better about ourselves, the fact is, we may actually need their approval. For instance, an interviewee has to connect with the interviewer to get a job. A sales person has to connect with the prospective client to clinch a deal. Even a student has to connect with the lecturer during a project presentation or thesis presentation. Like it or not, we have to connect with people everyday.

But the problem is: How to connect with people within 90 seconds? The formula is as easy as ABC. A for Attitude, B for body language and C for communication.

First, you have to choose the correct attitude

As the saying goes, “It is your Attitude, not your Aptitude that determines your Altitude.”
It is your attitude at the beginning of a task that determines your success or failure, not the number of brain cells. Attitude is a choice. Just as every morning, we choose what we wear, in the same way; we can choose an attractive attitude before we embark on any task. Some of the positive attitudes that attract people are enthusiasm, curiosity, welcoming and resourceful. We like people who make us feel warm and welcomed. We like people who are so enthusiastic. Practice the word “Great!” as a response. People just love it. It is magical word.

Secondly, B for body language. After you have chosen the correct attitude, you have to send the right signals by looking them in the eyes and smile. Make eye contact. You don’t talk with your eyes on the ground. Look at them in the eyes and smile. Brighten their day.

Point your heart towards them. People can feel true sincerity. People can tell when you give them a fake smile. Point your heart towards people when you talk to them.

Synchronize your body language. Mimick the person you are talking to. If the person talks with his arm relaxed on the table, you can do the same to mimick their body language. It will make people feel that you are the same kind.

Lastly, C for communication. The trick is to get them talking and keep them talking.
Make a short statement and
Ask open questions with 5 Ws and 1 H

Do not use closed questions that start with Do you… or Are you…
Closed questions will only get you a “yes” or “no” as an answer and closed off the communication. Use the 5 Ws and 1 H. Who, What, When, Where, Why and How.

People love to talk about themselves. Get them to talk about the things they love. It may be their spouse, their children, their hobbies or even their pets. Be encouraging when you give your feedback. Everyone feels good with a pat on the back.

Let’s recap. Choose the right attitude, send the right signals with body language and start communicating. This is as easy as ABC.

I would like to encourage all of you here to try it out and start connecting with the world. The world will fall in love with you in no time. Happy connecting!

Toastmasters of the evening.