For the past few days, I have been getting comments from people around me that they are frightened by me. Yes, the exact same words "frightened by me" came from my best pal, my close friend and even my mom.
Have I become an uncontrollably insecure freak searching for some identity, recognition and acceptance? Yes, I've been getting upset with practically everyone and everything around me. I just break down and cry with the slightest hint of non-appreciative words or actions from anyone.
Why is everyone around me waiting to see me die? Are people just wierd sickos who can't wait for other people to die? Will those people be happy if I die? Why doesn't anyone give me a chance to live? WHY??? I just need one chance. One chance. Why do people around me harden their hearts? I just need one more chance.
Even my mom's attitude towards me changed tremendously. In the past, when she sets a house rule, everyone must follow without questions asked. Now she speaks to me with respect. Recently, she became even more cautious in her words and actions. That is really funny and strange.
The only possible reason is that the sleeping volcano has shown some signs of possible eruption after 27 years of suppression.
A rubber band that is pulled too taut will snap. I feel like a rubberband that is stretched beyond what I can bear and I'm on the verge of snapping.
1 comment:
I have also been very disappointed by a close friend. Well, life goes on.
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