Thursday, June 22, 2006

i hate parrots

Any idea what animal do I hate most? Forget the idiotic question as the idiot-proof answer is in the title of this post. Anyway, I shall not keep the suspense and go straight to illustrate my point for my hate for parrots.

Parrots are just too irritatingly noisy. And it's not just noise. Parrots go around mimicking whatever you say to it to everyone brainlessly. They are basically unaware that you as the owner and human being is the more superior being in terms of brain development. That is why they stupidly will continue doing what the owners don't like, not knowing that this might end them up in hot soup. And I mean really hot parrot soup, cooked alive in a broth.

But as the perfectly intelligent owner, there are always ways to turn your disadvantages to your advantages. Simply tell the parrot what you want to broadcast and they will simply turn into a free marketing tool. Advertising firms should consider hiring a parrot. I will happily loan my parrot to the firms for such commercial use and earn a nominal fee. And lo and behold, the parrot has turned into a golden parrot.

Keeping the parrot as a pet and companion is really a love-hate relationship. You just have to be careful of what you say next and to make sure that as the owner, you have to keep up with the nourishing of your brain cells to make sure you are always smarter than the parrot.

A parrot is always a good friend to have only when you keep it at a distance, so that it can only hear mumbles of your personal life. Then when you need some attention, grab the parrot by the throat and force your advertising script down its throat loud and clear, so that no words are missed. Mis-heard scripts are disastrous.

3 comments:

BAM said...

Hi fgm, sometimes we call such marketing tools "CNN" or "BBC", dpending on how twisted the version gets. :)

JerL said...

Hi ainsley's mommy,

You're funny!!! That's a good one! Lolx...

Anonymous said...

My boss owns a parrot which is literally 1 meter away from my face for the past 2 years. I do not know how I have been able to cope. I hate parrots.