my fifth speech

Took one month to decide on the Speech Topic and finished writing the speech at 5am this morning. I must congratulate myself for mastering the ultimate art of procrastination. My first attempt at participating in Humorous Speech Contest.

Reading it on your own and hearing me delivering it personally is such vast difference because the gist of this project is on body language and humour. For the benefit of my blog fans who missed out seeing my dramatic performance, I shall highlight the parts that the audience laughed. So, please laugh after reading those parts. Thank you for your cooperation.

***

Start Looking Good Today!

Imagine you have a hot date with Angelina Jolie or Bratt Pitt tonight. Are you going to start flustering and agonizing over what to wear to make that lasting first impression? You opened up your wardrobe and to your horror, you have nothing to wear. The items in your wardrobe were either out-of-fashion, not appropriate for the occasion, wrong in colour, or they simply just don’t fit! And you secretly wished that you had time, more time to get an image consultant or to attend some personal grooming crash courses?

How important does your appearance play a part? Research shows that the first impression of an individual is made within the first 7 seconds and 55% comes from your appearance, 38% from the way you present yourself and only 7% is from what you say. Statistics show that people do judge a book by its cover.

The minute I stand here, I’m sure all of you have already checked me out from head to toe, accessing my credibility to share with you on how to enhance your image. Let me share with you my credibility.

I remember vividly that my previous boss was very particular about corporate image. As a result, he recruited an ex-SIA air stewardess to be our branch manager. Part of her job scope included drafting the new dress code for the branch. This is what she wrote:

For the men:
- Shirt and tie colours to be well-coordinated
- Ties must be worn at all times
- No short sleeved shirts allowed
- No jeans and T- shirts allowed
- Shoes must be polished at all times
- Hair must be short and gelled up at all times
- Nails must be kept clean and well maintained at all times.

For the ladies:
- No sleeveless tops.
- No plunging necklines.
- Hemlines must be below the kneecap.
- No open-toe sandals allowed.
- No coloured stockings allowed.
- Eyebrows must be drawn at all times. Does this mean makeup must be worn at all times? Yes.
- Highlighted hair is allowed except blue. Orange is fine. (btw, our corporate colour is blue and orange.)
- No coloured contact lenses allowed. We do not want cats serving our clients.
- No chipped nails allowed. Nails must be well maintained at all times.
- Nail colour must be the same as lipstick colour. Does it mean that nails must be polished at all times? Yes.

I have been under strict training for 2 whole years. Indeed, your image is the impression that you give to the world. Today I’m going to share with you on how you can enhance your image with 3 Cs.

The first C - Coordinate the Colours.

This basically means to wear colours that harmonise with your own natural colour of your hair, eyes and skin. Basically for Asians, we have warm skin colour and we can be classified as either Spring or Autumn.

If you are fair and have light warm skin colour, you can wear spring colours such as bright hues of red, yellow, orange, green. Of course I’m not suggesting that you wear all the colours at one go or be seen like a walking Christmas tree with a red shirt and green pants. That would have been a fashion faux pas. Common colour sense is always to match bright hues with neutral colours such as black, grey, brown, beige or white. You will never go wrong with neutrals.

If you are slightly more tanned with bronze skin, wear autumn colours like rich chocolate, warm pinks, army green. The duller and dirtier the colour, the more your skin colour glows.

The second C – Choose your style

Are you the Dramatic who loves to attract attention with loud colours, bold prints and eye-catching accessories? The dramatic man is often found in fashion industry or entertainment circles. They are very creative and not afraid to look outlandish. Or are you the Romantic who adores laces, frills, bows and anything pink. The romantic loves people and tend to over-accessorize. Or are you the Classic? Understated, sophisticated. No fuss. No frills. They are mostly seen in neutral colours like black, grey or blue. They prefer suits and never dress too casually. Or are you the Natural boy or girl-next-door sort of person who is most comfortable in jeans, T-shirts and casual sports wear. The Natural tend to shy away from functions that require dressing up.

Style has nothing to do with just a shoe or a skirt. It has nothing to do with mascara or lipstick. It’s about the complete person. The essence of style is always confidence.

The third C – Camouflage your figure faults

It’s balancing act. The eye travels more slowly horizontally across the body than vertically. So if you wish to deceive the eye about a figure problem, draw the eye vertically past that area. If you wish to emphasize an asset, draw the eye horizontally. It isn’t always necessary to use darker colours on the heavier parts but the most striking element of an outfit must be at your body’s best points. Remember, where you are short, optically lengthen and where you are long, optically shorten. This is the art of balancing length and proportion.

Now that you know the 3Cs, it’s time to clean out your wardrobe! Statistics show that you regularly wear only 20% of all the clothes you have in your wardrobe. Clean out those clothes that don’t fit anymore, out-of-fashion and out-dated clothes. Get rid of everything that you have not worn in the last one year. Chances are you will never wear them again! Donate them to charity!

When you look good, you feel good. So start looking good today!

***

Some after thoughts...

Of course this being an imperfect speech has parts which I thought needed improvements. Firstly, not everyone in the audience can identify with Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt. Having a hot date with a celebrity is too far-fetched sounding and not a realistic example. Of course, I meant it to be an 'imagination' but I guess not everyone has such creativity in their imaginations. Oh well.

And one other thing, the introduction to my speech is too long-winded and there wasn't an impactful ending. Not impactful enough for my standards anyway. But that's also one of my bad habits. I tend to spend too much time crafting a grand entrance and too little time to end it with a bang.