Somehow there seemed to be a lot of things on my mind of late. Or have I always been like that?
My mind seemingly kept on the new course that I'm designing. The tightly scheduled deadline is making my head spin a little bit. I'm stressed up not because of the actual designing of the course itself. Those are the things within my control. I'm stressed up because there are external parties involved in the project and these people doesn't seem to respond to your calls or emails. It is frustrating when your work is dependant on someone else's work. And that someone else's level of efficiency is beyond your control. Gosh, you know what I mean?
Then, my mind drifts away into my memories... memories of sitting on the big armchair at Ben & Jerry's on a Sunday evening, chilling out with a close friend. What a relaxing way to spend the evening with Chunky Monkey flavoured icecream and having an intellectually-stimulating conversation. Somehow good times passed by so quickly and the stressful time seemed to last like ages.
This is me. Whenever I'm stressed, my mind will keep wandering into deeper thoughts, digging deeper into my memories, like the sight of a child frantically searching high and low, opening up all the drawers, digging for the favourite toy. Somehow, through this frantic search, before I find that favourite toy, some sad memories, photos of lost friends, etc..., just pop up out of nowhere. And suddenly, sadness just floods into your mind, flashes of broken memories, bits and pieces, flashing all over.
Instant reflex action of shutting my eyes as tightly as possible, blinking away tears. My head so heavy... I long for that rest and my bed.