Self-Worth

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question:

'What kind of man are you looking for?'

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking,
'Do you really want to know?'

Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes.

She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter.

I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought & stated, '
I am not referring to money.
I need something more.
I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.

She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden.

I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man.

I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need someone whom I can respect... In order to be submissive, I must respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot.

She replied, "I'm worth a lot".

with precised planning, nothing is impossible

a pot calling a kettle black?

One day a lady criticized D. L. Moody for his methods of evangelism in attempting to win people to the Lord.

Moody's reply was "I agree with you. I don't like the way I do it either. Tell me, how do you do it?"

The lady replied, "I don't do it."

Moody responded "I like my way of doing it better than your way of not doing it."

Don't copy if you can't paste! ~ Anonymous

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock.

The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner,” The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

The wife went; "Aaaaaggh!" with shock and rage!!

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!" By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!

working overtime

45 lessons life taught me by Regina Brett

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift. "

I can't take that chance

old vs young

Old: Knows the mouse that eat the cheese
Young: Knows the mouse that moves the cursor

Old: Earrings are on the ears
Young: Earrings are anywhere except the ears

Old: Hold hands
Young: Hold handphones

Old: Touch hearts
Young: Touch screen

Old: Talk to people they see
Young: Talk to anybody they can't see

Old: Values changes
Young: Changes values

sky ERP

I think some Singaporean somewhere out there who did this imagery must be too free. For those of you who don't understand Malay, "Aper ni" means "What's that?" Just for some laughs.

new office policy

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Everyeffort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break: (Love this one)
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management Pass this on to all who are still employed!

better to have a loose skirt

I was having dinner with my guy friend and an interesting conversation left me with so much laughter that I had to blog about it.

Me: "I think that I lost weight. I couldn't fit into the new skirt I bought last month. It has become too loose."

My guy friend: "Whatever you do, please do not put on weight just to fit into your skirt. You can do anything to your skirt, buy new one, alter it, whatever you do, just don't ever put on weight just to fit your skirt."

The funny part was that he said it with a serious, no joking tone. Goodness, he was more concerned about my weight than me!

My answer was "But hey, my skirt is already an Extra Small size!!! "

the little girl who has a green heart

My colleague encountered a funny episode and I thought it is so funny it is worth blogging. She was in the ladies restroom at a shopping mall and got scolded by this little girl about 5 or 6 years old.

Little girl: "Why are you taking so many pieces? Mommy says take just enough to wipe your hands."

My colleague naturally felt very embarrassed and to this day, everytime she goes to the washroom and was taking the napkin to wipe her hands, she remembered this little girl and of course, remembered to take only just enough paper napkins to wipe her hands.

So, this brave little girl did her part to save the Mother Earth just by speaking up! Well done and kudos!!!

something to tickle your funny bones.

My colleagues are a funny bunch of people and probably I belong to the same league. We can be as crazy as we want to be, yet when it comes to work, we can be as serious as we want. So as you can see, working with such colleagues will have jokes flying around the office all the time, especially during lunch or tea break. Or whenever someone is totally stressed up, he or she will just shout a joke and everyone will crack up. These days, offices are open concept and there is no partition in the office. Everyone can see everyone else seated down. Everyone can hear everyone else, so that facilitates jokes. Anyway, my boss is a funny lady and many times, she is the one who cracked us up, so there is no problem to that.

Well, I thought there were a few funny ones going around today, so I just want to share with all the stressed up souls who click on my little bloggie over here to destress.

***

Joke 1:

There was this guy who just got married and talking to his friend.
Married Man: "You know, my wife made me a millionaire."
Friend: "Well, congratulations pal, isn't that a good thing? Your wife brings you fortune!"
Married Man: "Not really. Well, you see, I used to be a billionaire."

***

Joke 2:

This American guy was talking to the pretty SIA air stewardess on the flight.

American guy: "Wow, you're very pretty."
SIA girl: "Thank you veli much for your compliments."
American guy: "So, tell me, what did you do before you become an air stewardess?"
SIA girl: "Study lor."
American guy: "Oh wow, you studied law? You must be pretty brainy!"