lateral canthoplasty, anyone?

Just read Wendy Cheng Xiaxue's blog, the famous or infamous Blogger who blogs professionally for a living and she announced that she went for plastic surgery 3 days ago. Apparently, this rather good-looking lass wanted to become prettier by extending her eyes. Yes, you did not read wrongly. The technical term is Lateral Canthoplasty, which literally means cutting the outer corners of the eyes to make them bigger and prettier.

If you follow her tweets, there was a funny one where she mentioned that she told her mom about it and it took 2 hours for the message to sink in before her mom called to scream at her. Funny lah. I think if I were her mom, I wouldn't be surprised at all to hear about this. Lateral canthoplasty is not unimaginable after her nose job, blond hair and blue eye contact lenses. Maybe if I were her mom, I would regret not marrying a white man. Maybe that would have saved her some pain. Just maybe. Who knows, perhaps if that were the case, she might dye her hair black and sew up her eyes to make them look like Lucy Liu's. The grass apparently is always greener on the othe side.

There is another girl who blog about her Lateral Canthoplasty too... Click here to see the photos and you will find the process rather mind boggling and the end product rather familiar looking... looks just like another famous blogger, right? The one who denied that she went through any surgery.

To tell the truth, I am rather appalled at the extent of pain girls are willing to endure just to look prettier. For me, I think that mascara and lip gloss are great products that have been invented and fake eyelashes are the most elaborate makeover I will do on special occasions.

And though I'm not perfect, as long as I feel great about myself. I think that people will love me for who I am. Anyway, to Father God, ain't I a princess in His eyes?

my challenges as a young female leader...

Serving as a leader for the past couple of years indeed opened my eyes, widened my knowledge and experiences. The saying is true. Walking a thousand miles gain you more experience than reading a thousand books.

I notice a very strange trend.

For the younger generation, they prefer young, bubbly, energetic leaders who motivates and encourages. They don't really care whether the leader is male or female. They accept all.

For the older generation, there seems to be a greater resistance to accept leaders who are younger than them, more intelligent, more capable. To make things more difficult, I am young, single, female, wears trendy clothes with lots of makeup. Somehow, older males tend to equate females who wear trendy clothes and lots of makeup to a bimbo. In their generation, maybe good looks and brains did not go together. Well, the fact is, in their generation, females did not have much opportunity to be educated. Many end up being a homemaker. Maybe that's the perception of females in their era.

As a female, I find that I have to strive doubly hard to earn respect from the older generation. To make things worse, I'm the outspoken kind. If I do not agree with certain policies or issues, I will voice out my opinion. Oh well. Sometimes, I wish I were a guy. Life would have been much easier.

Then again, maybe I should thank God put me through struggles and trials. Without them, I would not become stronger. Without struggling to get out from the cocoon, the caterpillar will never become a butterfly.

reminiscence

Someone asked me for a translation of my previous post. So here it is.
If you have a better one, feel free to comment...

Tears flow quietly as my mind is wholly occupied by reminiscences.

the power of words...

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can shatter my soul.

tear no more for man

From this day onwards, I will only tear for the Lord. No other man will be worth my tears other than the Lord Himself, who sacrificed on the cross for me.

Little things in life

I am someone who really appreciates the little things that people do for me. You know it when someone takes note of the little remarks that you make and remember them. People who truly listens to you are the ones who truly care. It is a blessing to have someone who always keep a lookout for you and you know you feel safe. You know it when God sends you a guardian angel. God is really good.

It is fun when you have someone who shares the same likes and dislikes in food, shopping, clothes and opinions. And you can spend hours with them and time just flew past in a wink of an eye and you wish you had more time with them! Best friends are made by God and sent by God. Imagine the number of human beings on earth. How difficult is it to find a best friend? Well, God brought them into our lives. God planned for them to be in our lives. Isn't God amazing?

double-edged sword

Words are like double-edged sword. If not used properly, they can kill.

sweetest words

The sweetest words that touched my heart is when someone said " I will pray for you." Four simple words, yet what great love is behind the four words. The words, though simple, has been echoing in my heart. I feel so loved and blessed.

From the depth of my heart, I thank you.

love is like the shadow

Love is like the shadow... so near yet so elusive...

***

I took a facebook quiz and here is the verdict of me:

You're the Romantic. You're such an easy going and quiet natured person. You have an inner spark inside of you that shines through to the world. You're beautiful inside and out. You believe in true love and that the world needs more genuine people like yourself.

***

I guess I believe in true love afterall. I thought that my heart had died a few years back when I ended a relationship rather abruptly. There was no quarrel, nothing. It just ended without me even knowing that it ended. I don't even know if I can call that ended. Or rather, the person disappeared from my life just all of a sudden.

Well, I never felt my heart beat again for the longest time. I guess time has healed the wounded heart and I'm ready to move on. I'm happy with that discovery. The discovery that my heart is still alive and pumping! Sometimes, I think that God let me meet all the wrong persons just so that I can recognize the right person if he comes along. I think God is such an awesome planner. Everything is just so perfect in His time.

The only test is when God says "Wait". Dealing with that is not easy, especially so when we are living in our own time and making our own plans. We can plan for a lot of things, but if it were not meant to be, it will never happen. And if it were meant to be, then God will make sure everything falls in the right place at the right time. I just have to give thanks for the test. And leave the rest to God.

God's love

It was a beautiful Sunday.

I arrived at Odeon early and found my way up to the auditorium. It was my first visit to Cornerstone and I was all alone. I stood at the entrance for a long time. The auditorium was huge and I did not know where to sit. Somehow, I decided to turn and walk towards the back of the auditorium. It was rather daunting to sit right smack in the middle of nowhere, so I moved to the right side . I moved down and found an empty row to park myself in a corner.

Soon the auditorium began to fill up. I looked on as the crowd poured in and the more people came in, the more lonely I felt. The auditorium was full of people, yet there was nobody I knew. The feeling of loneliness penetrated my bones. Suddenly, I felt a shiver down my spine. I never felt so cold in my life. I was on the verge of tears. Left, right, front and back. All strangers.

I looked right in front towards the stage. I was looking for the cross. There was none. I looked to the left and there was a huge painting of an angel. In my heart, I spoke to the Lord: "Dear God, there are so many people in church, yet the seat beside me is empty. I don't know anybody here. I am so lonely I feel like crying."

Then out of nowhere, a couple I knew walked towards me and the husband asked his wife to sit with me, while he moved towards the back rows in search of another empty seat. I was so shocked that God answered my prayers immediately and sent me a friend to sit beside me that tears of joy poured down my cheeks. I was so overwhelmed by God's love that I couldn't stop crying. God loves me so much that He bothered to answer my insignificant little prayer.

It was only after the service that I found out that the place where I sat was the usual place the cell group will sit. I was led by the Holy Spirit to sit at the right place. Which means, God knew my prayers even before I utter it and He answered my prayers even before I asked. That is how awesome God is. I knew in my heart that this is the place where God led me and this is the place God wanted me to stay.

what do i really want?

I want a car. I want a house. I want to have a great career. I want to have a relationship. I want to find a great guy. I want to find love. I want to love people in my life. I want freedom. I want to be free. I want to be free like a bird in the sky. I really want to be free. I really want to be free. I really want to be free. I really want to be free.

I was stuck. What do I really want?

Do I really want to have a relationship? The irony is that I value my freedom above all else on my want list! The same question repeated was so deafening to my ears that I had to stop thinking with my head and start to ask my heart. What do I really want?

I searched my heart. And I blurted...

I want to be honest with myself.
I want to be true to myself.
I want to forgive myself.
I want to love myself.

I was so shocked that tears just flowed. The deepest desire that I had suppressed for so long finally broke free.

the 2-hour notice

job security - is there such a phrase in the new age economy?

For many of us, we take job security for granted. Sad to say, in this new age economy where nothing is predictable, I would say this phrase "job security" can be listed as a historical phrase.

A graduate, tall and handsome, speaks perfect English, well-groomed, great public speaking skills, intelligent chap. Who would ever imagine that he would be one of the listed persons in the retrenchment list in a company that owns $1 trillion assets? I do not think he had foreseen that coming his way, especially when he was one of the invited speakers who spoke to the 4000 sales staff just last week. Now you see him, Now you don't. When you need to send a representative from your department to give a talk to the sales folk, won't you, as a boss appoint the best in the team? I guess so. That means he had been a great performer. He is no lazybone who hides behind the computer trying to get through the day just to get paid. He was impressive. In good days, probably he is on the promotion list! The reality is, he received a notification at 3.30pm to pack up and leave by 5.30pm. A 2-hour notice.

Let's look at the other guy who also spoke during the seminar. With that 2-hour notice happening to the rest of his guys in his department, he cried. As a man, even then, it was a truly mixed feeling of sadness and gladness. He was really sad to see his fellow lovely colleagues packing up. He thanked God he did not receive the notice. But in a matter of 2 hours, he became very lonely. For he was the only person left in his department. And from the next day onwards, he knew he needed to work hard. Very hard.

I guess we need to really look beyond the dark gloomy sky. For the sky is always gloomy before the sun rises. Let's all await in anticipation of the sun rise.

enjoyable busy holiday afterall!

I guess I am a person who cannot stop being busy and if I ever have some idle time, I would not hesitate to fill that up with some activity. Those of you who do not know me, one look at my pocket diary can tell you the whole story. I have my schedule planned right up to the end of the year, fully packed right up to September. Every Friday before the next week commences, I will take a look at my calendar, if there are any empty slots, I will use the next 3 days to fill up those empty slots. Simply put, I'm someone who hates time to be wasted.

And today, I'm on leave because today is my mom's birthday and I've planned a surprise for her. As usual I've packed the whole day to the brim. Even though I'm on leave, that doesn't make it a legal reason to laze in bed. I was awake at 7am and straight after washing up, I'm sitting right in front of my desktop, checking my Gmail, even though Gmail was the last item I shut down before I slept the night before. I like to be always on the dot when it comes to replying emails. I set myself a criteria, a habit I cultivated ever since I started working in a bank, to reply emails within 24 hours.

And yes, I received a last minute request from a visiting toastmaster to speak in the chapter meeting tonight. I quickly made the amendments, checked through before I sent it to my VPE for printing. Since I do not have access to a printer and I've made some plans later. I quickly also saved the namecard design that I've done up last night for the new exco team. Have made appointment with the printing company at 9.30am.

About 2 weeks ago, I secretly asked Daddy to take leave on the same day so that we can give Mommy a surprise! And poor Daddy got scolded by Mommy for not telling her he was on leave! lol. But it was supposed to be a surprise. *duh* Anyway, we went to have a sumptuous dim sum brunch. We went around to shop around for a while before making our way back.

Rested for a couple of hours before I went on to Holland Village to meet a friend for dinner before going to my toastmasters club chapter meeting. Wow the attendance was an overwhelming one and the 3 hours seems to whizz past!

My day ended on a high when I stopped at a traffic junction to watch a little kitten cross the traffic junction while the green man was on! It managed to cross 3 lanes in front of me, wondered for a while in the middle before trotting off to the other side of the road while the green man was blinking! Oh, sooooo cute! I looked over to see the driver next to me smiling at the kitten. The little kitty made our night drive home not a lonely one, but a heartwarming one....

Of course, not forgetting to mention that I receive my first birthday present today, even though my actual birthday is about 2 weeks away! ;p

So happy. Need to blog before I sleep. It's 2am now. Anyway, I'm having a nice little chat with Mommy I doubt I will sleep anytime soon. Oh well, just feel too high on my first off day!

sabbatical leave

Hey guys and gals,

I'll be taking a sabbatical leave from the internet for a while to go back to the basics - reading books. Need some time to quieten down my heart, read and reflect upon my life.

I've been too busy to even have time for myself. I guess it is time to give myself some time for myself.

Will be back with more reflections and thought-provoking posts. Hopefully. Soon.

Take care in the mean time.

Cheers, Jerlynn

movie review

1. Love issues:

Watching the Spiderman 3 left me teary eyed throughout the movie. I must admit that I'm an emotional freak. Every character did what they did out of love, even the so-called bad guys. The Sandman out of love for his dying daughter, Harry out of love for his late father. The sad part is that they let their selfish love turn to hatred. And in turn, they are hurting other people. Being myopic, they failed to see the big picture.

The consolation is that realization of their folly dawned at the very last scene.

Love should be selfless. But being human, many a times, the possessiveness come into play and love turned ugly. Love transformed into jealousy, hatred, murderous thoughts. How many people can be that cool-headed when dealing with love? Taking a step back to see the big picture. Love is supposed to be kind. Love is supposed to be forgiving. Love is supposed to be selfless.

2. Superhero is human and human makes mistakes

Spiderman turning evil and then repenting and turned good again. This twist to the plot is something rather controversial I would say. To me, superheros in my era was perfect. They were heros. They save the world. They are pure and innocent. They have a good heart. They are everything good.

Why did Spidey turn evil? Out of external uncontrollable circumstance?

Walking out of the cinema, at every other corner of the shopping mall, I noticed something disgusting. Black spiderman toys with evil eyes are lurking everywhere. Kids adore them. I do not know what kind of influence this has on our next generation, but I know it is not a good one.

I do not think that kids can pick up the gist of the show: Repentance. They dwell on the part when Spidey turned evil. They love it. Just look around us. What accessories are youths daunting today? Pendants that are of the shape of skulls, devilish and evil looking doodling on T-shirts with blood, tatoo of the devilish creatures on their bodies.

Ok, I think I digressed a little.

peace

Since coming back home from cell group, I've been humming the tune "You are My God" in my little brain. Decided to play the tune to myself on the piano keys. To my dismay, I discovered many of the strings have broken and my old piano sounded horrible. Sad.

Nevertheless, I played and sang the hymn to myself repeatedly till my arm ache. Peace.

sour day turned sweet night

My day started not so beautifully with a drained body and weary mind at a branch meeting on a Saturday morning. This is the worst combination ever. And the hot blazing sunlight added to my misery by leaving me a migraine as the piercing light shone through my sunglasses while I drove to office. I need a new pair of shades. One with better coverage and UV protection.

The fact that the meeting ended an hour late caused me to miss the bulk of the prepared speeches for the Division U International Speech Contest. I was only in time to hear the last speaker. A more unfortunate event happened during the break when ATMB/CL Edward Ma approached me. To my greatest dismay, he asked me if I could stand in as the Sergeant-At-Arm for the Table Topic Contest did not turn up. I did no mind helping out but that meant that I would not be able to listen to any of the Table Topic Contest Speeches as I was guarding the rest of the contestants at the other room. The only consolation was that I had the privilege to entertain the nervous contestants as well as Jasmeet's(one of the contestant) baby in the same room.

It was rather a wasted trip for me as my main purpose was to be there to give support to Cherlene and Ms Kam. Quite sad that I did not get to hear both speeches. And I forgot to mention that this guy who had been pestering me for the past few days for an appointment to sell me something appeared at the contest! After I told him yesterday that I did not wish to meet him, he still hung around me like a shadow trying to get my attention. Oh my goodness, how grateful I was when Barry noticed and kindly came to my rescue during the break. I almost pulled out my hair but I was glad I kept my cool.

***

The day ended on a happy note when we went together for dinner at Riverview Hotel. Thanks Ms Kam for the treat.

After dinner, Barry and myself decided to look for a quiet place to hang out. We drove around and ended up at Great World City. It was a pretty decent place for a nice chat over coffee albeit the stuffiness due to poor air-conditioning. It was funny that there were so many things for us to yak about and time passed by too quickly. The next time we should plan for the venue earlier in advance instead of wasting too much time thinking of where to go. We still ended up past midnight though we had initially planned to go back earlier to rest. Oh well. It was too fun to remember the time.

faith in a friend

This afternoon, I was supposed to meet an old friend for a cuppa at around 3 plus. It was never happier to meet an old aquaintance. A feeling of nostalgia overflowed and once again I was soaked in sweet memories of my campus days. My senior in college back then and now a colleague working in the same building! Our paths crossed again after 8 years. How amazing. I was really looking forward to catching up.

I was really disappointed when I received an sms this morning that my old pal had an urgent meeting at 4pm. We had to change our catch-up session to tomorrow instead. Last minute crop-ups are inevitable in this fast-paced financial industry. I can understand. Nevertheless, I still went for my cuppa at around 4pm with 2 other colleagues instead.

Guess what, amazingly my old pal was there at the same coffee place, sitting at the table next to me! A series of questions raced through my mind. Did the meeting changed venue? Postponed? Cancelled? Or simply my old pal wasn't in the mood to meet up with me?

I begin to doubt the possibility of meeting up tomorrow as agreed. Somehow I have a feeling that the catching up session I was looking forward to will never materialize.

I thought it would be nice to give the other person the benefit of doubt and without wanting to expose the lie embarrass my friend, I just behaved naturally with my colleagues without going over to say hi. I kept my fingers crossed. "Please don't disappoint me" I thought to myself. My old pal actually waved at me in acknowledgement. I smiled.

I look forward to the catching up session tomorrow.

emotional outburst

When one is down, the mind wanders. And wanders far. I guess that's what emotions are all about. I was really touched when a hug came to my weak body as I was unable to even move an inch from the seat. A true friend was a phone call away. And I found the true friend. She gladly lend her shoulders for me to whimper. The hug felt so good. I felt so small. Her perfume was a distinct contrast to the stank of martini from me, which she didn't mind at all.

She was a true friend.

***

There is a danger when you're really down that your emotions will rule over your mind, especially so after a booze. I was reminded.

I was glad for the ability to sleep. Sleeping revives the rational mind. Sleeping makes yesterday's troubles seem like a bad bad dream. I was glad the bad dream was over and I'm able to start the day afresh.

And today is the new day.

inspired

I had waffles, scrambled egg and a strawberry for breakfast! Photo taken by Barry's phone camera with surprisingly good resolution.

Barry asked me along to Teach Me Toastmasters Club as a project evaluator and as we were enjoying our breakfast in Delifrance, he told me that Teach Me TMC is a very special club. He was really amazed by their enthusiasm and undaunting spirit. I listened with my mind looking forward to the chapter meeting, the same excitement I have before visiting a new toastmasters club.

It was a short 10 minutes drive and we were just on time. Most other TMCs almost never start on time and I thought we were early. Little did I expect the room to be filled almost to the brim when I stepped in. What shocked me even more was the fact that the room was almost 80% of them in the room were either wheelchair-bound or seated with crutches. They were mostly youths in their late teens or early 20s. I took a deep breathe as Barry introduced me to the Club President who was a young malay lady welcoming me with a bright smile in a wheelchair.

I sat through the club meeting with a heavy heart. I couldn't help but notice this boy in front of me could barely sit upright in his wheelchair. His mother had to be around to take care of him, despite being crippled herself. My heart wrenched in pain as I saw his arm with only skin and bones. I bowed down my head and uttered a prayer to the Lord to ask for His healing hands to be upon everyone in the room. I took out my notebook to jot this as an additional daily prayer item as I fought back my tears.

This is a special club indeed. Although they were physically handicapped, but they were all full of vim and vigor. Their undaunting spirit touched my heart deeply. How many of us can still have that unfaltering determination to live on despite such mishaps at such young age?

Yet, there are able-bodied people around us who are spiritually handicapped. Hypocrites and backstabbers ought to be ashamed of themselves. Such irony. I will leave this topic to another blog post. Sorry for digressing.

Thank you Lord for reminding me of how blessed I am. Thank you Lord for reminding me to pray for people who are less fortunate.